Closure vs Choice
Television journalist Anderson Cooper lost his brother, Carter, to suicide. At 23 years old, Carter jumped from the 14th floor of his mother’s penthouse as she stood right there. Anderson Cooper has stated throughout his career that he is haunted by his brother’s death. He admits he’ll never truly find closure. “It doesn’t exist. There’s no such thing,” he once told People Magazine.
I was struck by this statement because it made me think about whether God promised us we’d get closure in our lives. I would never take away from Anderson Cooper’s grief; he and his family suffered a great tragedy. But do we set ourselves up for prolonged emotional pain when we resolve that we must have closure for the difficult things we face in our lives?
The Bible tells us there is a season for everything. “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance . . .” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-4). So closure isn’t an automatic occurrence. Closure is a choice. There is a season to mourn and then we must move on and live. The Israelites mourned for 30 days and that was it. They moved on to the next thing.
Modern psychology has told us that we have a right to desire closure and should seek it but the Bible tells us to everything there is a season and once the season passes, we are to move on. So I write to all of you out there today who are waiting for closure, waiting for an explanation for a tragedy, waiting to be vindicated. Stop waiting, you have lost enough time. Make the decision that the issue is closed, the season is over and now you are moving into a new season of living and growing. It is possible to move passed loss, tragedy and betrayal.
Give the situation to God and ask Him to heal you and help you move on. I know you’ve heard about making Jesus Lord of your life. But consider the extra step and let Him be Lord over your pain and grief and disappointment. For Him to be Lord, you must give it to Him. Jesus never dismisses your loss or pain; He simply extracts what you need from the situation and discards the rest so you come out on the other side a stronger person. He who the Son sets free is really made free from the burden of it all (John 8:36).
Secondly, forgive everyone involved. Forgiveness is not for the other person, it is for you. “bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.” (Colossians 3:13).
You do not have to be haunted by your past. You can decide your own closure with God’s help. So make the choice to be set free the past today! “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” (2 Corinthians 5:17).
Want more stuff like this?
Get the best viral stories straight into your inbox!